iMessage
I’ve been thinking a lot about how hard it’s been for me these past few years to learn how to love myself and see myself the way you once saw me. I don’t think I ever fully understood how much it meant to be loved by someone who genuinely respected me, saw the good in me, and made me feel worthy of being loved. I really do value what you brought into our relationship, and I’ll always acknowledge the ways you loved and respected me. At the same time, I know I lost respect for you toward the end, and I became emotionally distant before I finally decided to do what I did. I know I put you through a lot, and that’s something I carry with me. I’m not saying any of this to rewrite what happened or make you feel responsible for how I feel now. I think what’s been hardest for me is that part of me has spent these last few years feeling like nobody is ever going to love me the way you did. And I’m tired of carrying that feeling. Not because I think you were the only person who could ever love me, but because I’m realizing that maybe I’ve been looking for someone else to make me feel the way I need to learn to make myself feel. You loved a version of me that I’m still learning to love myself. And I think that’s why losing that relationship affected me in ways I didn’t fully understand at the time. I don’t expect anything from you by telling you this. I just wanted to be honest about something I’ve been carrying for a long time. I’m grateful for the way you loved me, even though I ultimately knew I couldn’t stay in the relationship. And I’m trying to get to a place where I can appreciate what we had without believing that it was the only love I’ll ever be worthy of.
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