Unsent text message to Ethan

i can't wait to see you. i look so cute. i'm gonna be a little weird, i hope you're okay with weird. it's just for fun! and pretend! you love pretending, don't you? you do it at all the time. and you're so uptight and pretentious. we're going to bring you down to earth. and have a little party. make you laugh, smile…

And so I did. Finally, I’m never turning back. Not to open that door once more, not to take a peak or even a glimpse. That door has been since long gone and I was unaware. I waited and waited and waited some more. I won’t wait any longer while you live a good life with no empathy or remorse for what you chose to do to…

Every time I give you a chance, you show me what a fool I am to care. You are endlessly selfish. You have proven exactly who you are probably hundreds of times by now, yet it was only this very last chance that I finally, truly, believe you. Congratulations Turns out you were right…. You are the greatest…

I truly did enjoy my season of you, and as much as i wish for more, we are already on borrowed time, i should have left a lot earlier but I wanted more time with you. Stretched a moment into several more months just to spend it ************ with you. Truly wish I knew what I know now when I first encountered you…

Why would you do this? Why would you come up to me on the dance floor and give me that stupid blue bracelet? Why wouldn't you leave it at that? Why would you come up again and offer to buy me a drink? Why wouldn't you listen when I said you don't need to? Why wouldn't you stop texting when I didn't respond? Why did…

Please. 😢 I know you can’t be my friend I just literally need a distraction