iMessage
i found your notes that i hadn’t remembered i saved.
sweet, kind words. about our future. your love for me. the way i made you feel.
i cried.
not because i will get it back.
but because there was so much beauty in us. even with so much ugly at the end, it doesn’t cancel some of the most tender, most exciting, most thrilling times with you. doing everything. doing nothing.
i never stopped getting butterflies knowing i would see you later.
there was only so much pain losing it because there was so much joy. it was a gift to love you and be loved by you.
i hope you’re healthy. i hope you’re finding purpose. i hope your new girl loves you better than i did. maybe she knows how to keep that dark side of you at bay.
i loved you deeply.
i did not keep those notes. but i honored us like i didn’t know i would ever be able to. through hot tears and a tight throat, i was grateful to have had it for the time i did.
to us.
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