Unsent text message to Amanda

And you accused me of not being over my ex?

The projection is almost impressive.

You spent so much time questioning whether I was still stuck on someone else, all while apparently carrying a torch bright enough to light up the whole damn room.

That's the funny thing about projection: eventually, the accusation starts…

Girl…I just want a hug from you…nothing else. It’s hard to face there will never be an us - EVER. There’s something I feel about me and you. Boundaries set in ink across the board won’t allow it. Plus, you would think I was crazy if you knew what my feelings were.

I keep having flashbacks of you.

When I saw you. The times you tried being civil but I would not listen because my heart was broken.

Why were you so confused about me?

I cried and you told me you just wanted a good time. Sorry that I was not a "good time" for you.

I keep on wishing there was a way to go back, that some things were different. That I was enough. That you would have choose me. I just miss you. There’s so much that I love you about, ever little thing. You are something special. Hope you are well. I’ll kiss you for a life time. I use to think about all the time…

I hope your hanging in there after losing your dad. Also, aren’t dogs the best ? :)

I’ve debated reaching out to you for quite some time now, I’ve unblocked you on everything, hoping maybe you’d reach out. Maybe you already have and I missed my train. After all, this was our second go at being together and after how things ended I really don’t expect you to want to talk to me. (Unless it involves the…