Unsent text message to Chase

f* hell i wanna write you so badly!!! I know we are both fault in this but sometimes i hate you and hate everything about this but most of the time i miss you so much.. I love you, love you... was it that hard to just said last words for me?! f hell!!!!! this is where im rn!

I wish you’d reach out. I wish I didn’t think about you every single day. I am tired. I hope to walk these streets one day without remembering our hugs, our laughter, our first date. I can't even walk past the doorway where we kissed for the first time. I hate that I can’t erase those memories and walk through this…

i will reach for someone and they will reach right back. maybe even reach first. let my heart rest a while.

someday.

i hope.

I think I'll miss you for the rest of my life. Wish I could have gotten along with you. I wish I didn't have all this rage and sadness I get when I talk to you. But when I think of you I never know what to do. I'm sorry about everything, veec.

could i borrow some money for cigarettes? just until i get back on my feet, i promise. please?

I'm sorry for everything you have gone through. I'm sorry that I'll be looking for someone who has experienced similar traumas to myself not because I ever wanted you to suffer but because I never want to be the reason you suffer. I want us to both have such a firm understanding of what mutual respect looks like so…