Unsent text message to John

I did feel a "click", or whatever that means.

I would have been willing to go through the pain if it meant experiencing the good parts.

About that day: I know what you mean. There are certain memories of that day which are stuck in my mind.

My mind has been a jumble too. I find it's worse when we haven't been speaking…

I like you. I really like you. I just don’t think our communication styles kind up. I want to know what you’re doing through your the day, if you’re thinking of me, to be told when you’re busy. I want you to want that too. So asking for it seems a bit disingenuous. You also don’t ask me many questions about myself. I…

When I said you seen my deepest darkest demons, that wasn’t consent, that was expression of the trial you put me under. You took my demon and treated it like the king of hell.

You didn’t care, You didn’t love, You didn’t contribute, You didn’t have compassion, You didn’t have emphaty,

You were so caught up in the wrongs…

So tell me that it mattered, that I meant something to you

Because you’re all I can see

If its not you, I don’t want it

I can’t move on…

How can someone spend 7 years with someone

Match with someone else online whose states away

Meet them for the first time and ultimately move in with them that day

Without a job…

but i still hate you