Unsent text message to Emma

but i still hate you

I’m not married anymore, I’m SINGLE and divorced just like you wanted. Where are you? I’m available now and alone for a long time now and now you’re gone.

Or will you be relieved When all of me is gone, Gone for good.

For nothing. Twice in one day. Got all excited for a false fantasy.

The last time we spoke, you made this very clear. That's ok. I accept that you see me as a "bad" individual. I accept that my influence on your life wasn't good. I am sorry for the effects, both long and short term, that our relationship may have had/still has on you. I know you're too tough to linger there for long.

I…

Hey, I miss you so much. You were my first serious relationship, I don’t hold a grudge against you for burning out or getting tired of us because I played a part in that too.

I’m trying to respect your decision but I can see that this is painful for you as well. You said you still love me, and I believe it, otherwise…