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Same old ******** where I have to beat around the bush instead of just getting to communicate directly.
We both feel the same way about this whole situation. We both want the same thing from each other. But I can't just tell you the truth because you confided in her privately and now she's telling me to never ever tell you that she told me about it. I want to be on the same page here. No lies. No omitted truths. I either have to tell you the whole truth sober or we have to get drunk again so my brain can flirt more easily.
For some reason, I would literally rather drown myself in the ocean than send you a flirty/even formal but suggestive text directly while sober, because even if I know that you want it too, it will seem random/out-of-the-blue for you. And I don't want it to come off that way, dammit. My brain makes me feel like I'm somehow manipulating you even just thinking of it, because I would not be immediately telling you the entire backstory/truth.
She ******* told me so many times how she doesn't want to play wingwoman/mailbox/whatever again (even when she was the one to do it out of her own will). But now she's not letting me communicate directly with you, uuuuuuggghh. I feel like I'm going insane.
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