Unsent text message to Gabriella

I never hated you, I hated the way you treated me I wonder how you’re feeling, what you’ve accomplished all I wanted was was for you to listen now, I journal until my hand gets tired and I self medicate every night to sleep you think i’m living this wonderful life, but that’s nowhere near the truth I wish you could’ve…

Please I need to come home. Stop with the anger. Please let it go. I will earn everything back even if I feel I should not have lost it. But you have to give me a shot a real one. You can’t ask me to fight and be mean or hateful. I hate that my survival lives with you again. It’s easy to run. It’s hard to fight. To…

I told you that we are always okay, even if I'm not okay & I mean that. With all of my heart & soul, I love you, truly. That is never going to stop or lessen. It only grows, my love for you. We are going to be together. I just hope it's sooner than later, because I do not know how much longer I can do this without…

Hey You!

I wish that I had taken the time to understand the hurt that I caused. That night in the hotel before I met your bestie I thought we were finally getting closer. That's all I wanted to be let into your life. I know I kept pushing you to do something that maybe you thought was just too much. I understand the…

I did send you that to make you jealous, did it work? are you jealous? do you care? I just want you to think of me as someone desirable and not just as your good friend.

I need to let go of what I can’t change.. and give everything to what I can. I can’t change how you feel but I can control myself or I like to think I can so I’m going to try seeing if this is just a feeling that will never leave and accept it and bury it or see if it can change. Only time will tell.