Unsent text message to Amber

It's usually around 2am, always at that time. When the unconscious takes over what the daylight suppresses. I miss the comfort of your embrace and the security that it brought. I miss simple things- your good mornings before the sun had risen, the lightheartedness and mindless banter, even our inside jokes. All lost…

I cannot deny the value of the nights beneath the moon, glaring with that sparkle in my eyes wondering if it was real.

Knowing what I know now, I know it was all in my mind. Gaslighting yourself because it fills a void must be part of my pattern.

Your pattern is destroying anything that grow, by choosing not to care…

I look up at the sky, knowing we share the same view from different perspectives

Hoping that you see me the way I see you

Its a beautiful night, the sun finally setting

The colors blending in as it gets darker…

It’s been 3 years, and this last “goodbye” hasn’t gotten easier. I’ve learned a lot more, I’m determined to put myself first. No matter what I try, no matter how much I let myself feel, my heart still aches for you. It still beats to your rhythm and your warmth. As if yours never left my chest for one second. My heart…

I dont want revenge.

I waited long enough the first time. I didnt want revenge then either, i understood we were teenagers.

Now were adults theres no excuse.

I always only want you to do better and be better…

Idk why I can’t just trust, and into a new life thrust All my, effort, all my love cause it feels like I’m Still floating, but I know you pulled out the rug! I hung along and reached my point, I love you but this ain’t it, I’ve seen love , it don’t quit, not through ups , all over you through downs showing, you’re not…