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One minute I feel nothing but sadness and grief. The next I feel frustrated, angry and confused. Then I can feel okay for a little while, laugh with my friends and go about things as normal.
I don't want to spend my days feeling angry at you. I don't truly believe you deserve that. I think we both could've been better towards each other. My anger just stems from the feeling of being rejected and abandoned by you. Of not knowing how you really felt, what you really wanted or needed from me.
I don't want to rethink our relationship or regret any moments we shared. I loved you. I know at one point you loved me.
I sometimes do want to reach out. Even just for closure. What stops me is the idea of it causing you more pain or stress. I could handle hearing the worst from you. I would really love closure if we could never be together again. I don’t like how my default mood right now is frustration and anger with you because of how you chose to leave me. Regardless of all this, I hope you're healing too.
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