Unsent text message to Sean

I won't send you this because you hate me. Your birthday was the best day for me. I always wanted to make you super happy and I still love you so much that my heart fills like exploding. I hope whoever is your today, spoils you and gives you what you missed from me. I love you no matter what. Forever amore mio. Ti amo.

Mariah I can’t bear this **** anymore. I’m so ******* sad and lost and hopeless and scared and lonely… I only ever wanted us to start over as friends again. I don’t understand why you hate me so much… I didn’t do this to you and i dropped everything for you… It’s been months now… idk it hurts worse today than it ever…

I’m sorry for my behavior the other night, I wish you would talk to me. I just couldn’t stop.

You said to me "I can tell if you've had a morning just looking at you" and I begged and begged inside hoping you would just look. You didn't. I understand. I think i may be a tiny bit glad you didn't cause I would of just broke down into tears looking at you.

Today was a bad morning. I wish you was here.

I have been called in the last 2 weeks from an unknown number. Every time I answered I asked who it was. And every time the person hung up without saying anything.

My head imagines that it’s you. Because you miss my voice.

But that’s ********. You don’t care.

I hope you see this. I was at a texaco gas station in Johnson city Tennessee. You had the hood up on your car and asked if i could help you. You had beautiful straight black hair and said you needed to put oil in your car but couldn't get the cap off. Afterwards we were talking and u ended up giving me a bj behind the…