Unsent text message to Alexis

man finding this all out has been so funny. i wish i got to tell you to your face how much of a loser you are but oh well :p if you see me please never approach me! i hope you threw out my things because anything you touch? tainted to hell. i wish i could scrub my body raw. never seen this kind of delusion before…

That’s a question that everybody ask before entering a relationship or during a situationship. It was awful to question what it feels to be loved and why sometimes being loved feels like it was build up by someone’s fantasy and perception of you rather than accepting who you are as a person.

Does the idea of me, makes…

You got what you wanted, all the power you asked for. You don't care who you have to stamp on to get to the top, do you? How many friendships have you collapsed for your own greed? How many people you have gossiped about, smeared and hurt with your equally gossipy little friend. You may rule the roost now, but…

I can feel that the relationship is on the verge of ending. It all started when I saw your eyes wandering around while you are with me. How you made me feel so small in our relationship while making me seem like your priority.

I’m ashamed of telling you that I would rather experience the pain and wish you just leave…

I can’t believe it’s already been three days since we last spoke. I feel like I have so much to tell you and I really wish you’d reach out and break this no contact thing. I saw Mount Fuji today and it’s really something magnificent. I wish I could tell you all about it, show you the pictures or heck, the best would…

Let me have your babies. We’re both hot as ****, our kids would be adorable, and you’d be an amazing father. You’re patient, kind, understanding, humble, strong, and genuinely one of the best men I’ve ever known. I want tiny little pieces of us running around. I want to see your smile on a little face and my attitude…