Unsent text message to Connor

I’m going through something and all I want to do is talk to you for comfort. The thing is, you would make it so much worse. I really need you right now. I want to lay with you and feel your breath. I just want your comfort so bad right now. I really hate you for this feeling.

I write messages online to help process all these thoughts I can't share with you but part of me hopes you'll encounter them. Have you seen them? I worry how they'd come across on their own. There's so much I haven't taken accountability for but I avoid the specifics online. I don't want to push examining painful…

I’m still thinking about you, I’m still reminiscing on the days and nights we had together. This fall is going to be hard since it was the most prominent times we did all the fall couple events. I just miss my person. I miss you, I miss how you made me laugh and had my side anytime I needed you or just for a hand. I…

Do you feel it too, or is it purely limerence on my side. If so, why are you not making a move? Why do you keep sneaking back into my life? It’s been too long. Get out of my head. I’m losing myself I’m going crazy this is a curse!!! It hurts so bad.

I had such big plans for us, even though we didn't know each other long. I feel foolish now. You seemed very self absorbed, didn't say many endearing things. Yet, I still fell hard. I am such an idiot. Everything seemed it was about you. You were a lesson though, and one I will not make again. I am a catch and I know…

i didn’t want to i love you with all my heart but you keep hurting me and it’s ******* me goodbye my love