Unsent text message to Noah

The first one during after school volunteering felt hey i like you i want to see where this will go

15 years later

The last one first time seeing you in a month was hey ill always love you though were not in a romantic relationship anymore i still want you in my life

The grief is further ahead. The memory of the you I loved is there but I understand your state was only present for a restricted time. The anger at you who's not the least kind but instead covertly cruel taking advantage of my love, trust and care angers me, like watching bullying. It's part of what's wrong in the…

It’s as if I see you everywhere, yet you’re nowhere in sight. I came home tonight and finally let out all the tears I’d been holding back all day.

Do you ever think about me, too?

i feel really upset on how i spent so many hours trying to get some warmth and affection of you i was already sad and stressed should it really be this hard to give someone you like a bit of comfort during a hard time? even when i actually beg. when i read out loud tutorials on how to be there for the other, because…

I was looking at old videos of when you’d come and pick me up from my house and when you’d drive us back to yours. I’d forgotten how silly we could be with one another, I always did love how you’d make me laugh and finally when I could no longer hide the fact that I snort when I laugh. It felt much easier and a lot…

You don’t love me anymore. I get it. Thank you for being honest with me. I wish I could say I feel the same way, but I don’t. And if I’m being completely honest, I don’t know how to feel about any of this yet.

I was excited about us. About the things we have in common, the things we want out of life, and the…