Unsent text message to Maya

i want you to hold me. i want you to wrap me up in your giant arms and just squeeze me. please just hold me. hold me and never let me go.

So it's been a while since I posted, the family **** show continues. My cousin and his mother keep planning and scheming. Now trying to interfere with anyone that hires me ( for those new here I'm planning to leave the country basically).

They keep talking about not letting me meet someone. Keep planning and over and…

I was never going to leave you. In any way. Including the one I promised you. You know my living conditions, and I have been trying to get help and do whatever I could to get to you with my new lease on life I got when I found you. I would never want anyone to think I would leave you like that. Eventually anyone who…

Hi, I have a few things to get off my chest.

I notice that when you’re mad at me, your eyes start to wonder. It’s almost like you’re like for your next “victim”. Someone to numb the pain while healing your bruised ego.

One thing about me is I don’t sugar coat ****. I’m going to tell you about yourself especially when…

Dear W,

3 a.m. strikes, and like an invisible force, my itch flares up again.

I could call it an allergy, something that makes me crave you like an EpiPen in the moment. But it’s something lower than that, less dangerous. Something that crawls beneath my skin, something that makes me question whether I should speak or…

Hey D,

Near the end, I couldn't help but feel like there was a lot that you kept hidden away inside. I regret that it took me so long to notice. Loss came up a few times in our conversations, and so did mental illness, but you never shared what you had been through. I wish I could have been someone you felt comfortable…