Unsent text message to Zach

I hate this. I hate this so much. I hate that I miss you, because you hurt me so much. I miss talking to you. Why? Why did you come into my life, make me feel loved, and then leave? You asked what I wanted, and I should have said you. I want you. I was nice to you. I was good to you, wasn't I? Is it because I did…

Ashton,

I miss you today, just as I do every day. I hope you have a wonderful day and find many things throughout that make you smile or laugh, even if they're corny.

Maybe some day you'll see that you were my entire world and that I'd do anything to make you happy, including letting you go. Maybe some day you'll…

I’m tired of overthinking everything. Every look, every word, every tiny interaction somehow becomes a full investigation in my head, and honestly, it only seems to create more pain than answers. So, for once, I’m going to keep it light. Your smile makes me want to headbutt you! Not in a violent way. More in a “you’re…

and when you do , send me love, light and happiness from where ever you are, and if you ever get lonely and feel alone; at night, look up at the moon and know I'm right there with you.

P.S.

Thank you, seriously , thank you for the beautiful memories I got to experience. I'll forever miss you. Te amo.

\-N

One day we will be in the kitchen, cooking dinner together, laughing as we recall all of this and the silly things we’ve put each other through. One day I will be able to love you openly and freely again, without fear or anger. You’ll be able to authentically and openly love me back as well. But today is not that day.

i miss you. You know you are my favorite person and you’re so important to me. Clearly my first thought in the morning. I hope we see each other this week. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to ask you or you ask me after our last exchange. I’m trying to be patient, If you are waiting for me, don’t forget I’m traditional, I…