iMessage
____, I wanted you and I needed you this time. I was hurting for you so bad. For almost three weeks! And you weren't there. Sometimes I would be driving and think about you and just start crying, but everything you said and how you were acting that last night made me feel like there was no hope. Yet I hoped..I hoped each day that you would reach out. Knowing you probably would not. That that yearning almost assuredly meant you wouldn't. I silently grieved our relationship, our future, our plans, our children. Even as recent as a day ago I had hope, but then I gave up. And ofc soon after I do, here you are.. I'm not saying it's all your fault. I'm not. It's mine too. I thought about begging you to change your mind..but your mind was made up. So I suffered in silence, wishing for you. Wishing for us. And now that I'm ok, you're back. I don't know what to do. I understand why, but it hurt. Being alone. It hurt feeling like maybe it was easy for you and you didn't care. It hurt thinking your love was so conditional. It hurt when I was giving you love and trying to have a real goodbye and you were on Larry hoover ******** and being goofy. Like you're the greatest and saying **** about how you'd rather by the guy females remember than the one they end up with. Like that's a good thing and that I'm females. Idk. Idk. I still love you. But idk. I need time
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