Unsent text message to Megan

Home, lying here, wishing you were next to me. Perhaps in my dreams.

I want off this ******* planet 🙏

I’ve been thinking a lot about how hard it’s been for me these past few years to learn how to love myself and see myself the way you once saw me. I don’t think I ever fully understood how much it meant to be loved by someone who genuinely respected me, saw the good in me, and made me feel worthy of being loved. I…

I put the olive branch out there... Sent you a message. But I just hope you know that I won't send another one again. I'm only doing this now.

Had dreams about you where you were telling me you were hurting, another you were telling someone you do miss me. But you didn't say anything. So I guess maybe you are just…

Its funny, I catch myself. Just about to enter a deep slumber. Suddenly, I'm jolted awake as if I were about to be pegged by the one I used to call my person. Its funny we all know what our person thinks. Perhaps we could be on that wavelength, that connected. Perhaps we are simply riding a vibe. If you were grinding…

Maybe I do nothing . I let whatever this is take me . My lung is collapsing already . Why try to make it better . Give up …. The voices the voices …