iMessage
i think i may be royally f*ckd from dating for the rest of my life. that’s not really your fault, but the part you played definitely didn’t help. the whole relationship was bonkers from the get-go, you knew that as well as i did. i do think it’s safe to say that after all this time, did it not just change the way i view relationships overall (along with my part in them), but i don’t know if i ever want to be in one again. there’s too much fear there. of me. of them. of what it all would mean. of being vulnerable enough to let someone see the darkest parts of me. you were there when the darkest part of my life came to fruition. a thing i’d never really known before. a thing i didn’t want to acknowledge was the biggest part of my life as a 21 year old. after all, who does? you know as well as i do how that all went down.
i think id rather be happy alone than lower my “unrealistic” standards - or risk hurting someone the way i hurt you. although i do feel like ive grown, but you never know until youre in the situation. i haven’t dated anyone since you.
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