Unsent text message to Sean

You always let the moment slip by.

Whenever I felt passion and excitement. You would say “well let’s wait”. Not explicitly, but you would let it pass.

Talking about it and talking about it and more talking. Until its not exciting anymore.

When the excitement is there, you have to move on it. Now. Not tomorrow or next…

I understand your nature now. Maybe it was bc we were best friends since childhood but over the last almost two years it’s like a blindfold Is off my eyes. I don’t think of you as a bad person just a damaged one. I wish you hadn’t tried to change me so much and criticized me so harshly. I wish I could’ve helped you. I…

But I still care deeply about you. A big part of me still hopes you’ll get around and willing to work things out with me. I miss you so much. I miss when you show that you care through actions. Now it’s all just words. And you’re distant. And it’s ******* me. I cry every day. My heart feels so heavy. I want to let go…

I feel so stupid for still wanting you when you’ve so obviously moved on.

Not a bad kind of weird, but good kind of weird. When you say something that sounds almost like you’re in love with me it makes my heart sink, I feel shy when you call me pet names, I know we’re friends, but I wonder how you name this

I get it. I really do. I still hate it—you did exactly what I said you would.

I don’t regret anything. This was fun and I love you.

I’m not mad, but I will miss you.

Think of me time to time.