Unsent text message to Jacob

I still check on you everyday.

I miss you.

I saw what you said and it made me cry. most of the time you're just talking about mma or whatever but sometimes I'll get a glimpse of something else entirely and I just can't help but feel sad.

I don't pity you. I care about you, I really do…

Man, you had a voice that could charm cobras out of their pots. I miss hearing from you! Maybe it wasn’t a friendship but it sure was a nice hit of dopamine. I really do pray that you’re happy and well :)

You have me so f'd up. I may be 44, but I look damn good for my age. Ppl think I am ten yrs younger. Then you come along and think you can seduce me into being a cash cow! Pffft..guess what honey. I'm older, not desperate. In fact I am the opposite of desperate. I'm pretty much done with dealing with men period. BTW I…

My dream is that one day, you reach out to me.

Not because I stopped loving you, but because you told me to leave you alone forever—and I promised myself I would respect that.

So I won’t reach out.

I won’t chase you…

Manipulating me. Bye.

Manipulating me. Bye.