Unsent text message to Brittany

I should be packing. All I can do is lay in bed and cry.

I wish you’d reach out and say or do anything so I didn’t feel like I should hate you.

I hate this… so ******* much.

Oh well I’m sure we will bump into each other a few times over the next few months outside of work. Let’s hope it goes well.

I don't think I'm farther along in life than you (except maybe technically; I am older....sort of).

I think two people can be learning at the same time.

I think the two of us happen to be learning opposite lessons.....which is challenging.

I know how it feels to be pacing around in circles, banging yourself in the head…

Five years

Five years, I loved you.

And for those five years, you said you loved me to

You said you loved me but by the way you left me, I don’t think that was ever true. I was a placeholder in your stack of cards well you waited for the right one to come into play. I was the pawn in your game of chess and you played me……

You doing alright today?

I don't know if you need to hear it, but, you are truly incredible. Rogue or not.

You don't need to always act so stoic about things. Please, tell me if something is bothering you. I will happily be your sounding board, anytime.

Miss you. Hope you're having an awesome day…

My tooth hurts so bad today I had a hard time getting out of bed and showering depression will do that to you in the isolation where you can’t do anything or function I’m struggling . I wish I could reach out to you for a distraction I could use the company. The other dog is sick. Sigh . I guess I have to settle for…

Would you ever find me? But first would want to? I love you I don't want to exist without you.