iMessage
Im not sure why, we both knew it wasn’t good or healthy. But I’ve so badly wanted to say I love you one last time. I’m still so, so mad at you for so many things. But im also very sorry for ever talking to you. I’m sorry I started liking you knowing how I get when I feel like that for someone. We would text and call weekly.. for a solid couple months. I wasn’t trying to look at you that way, it just happened. I loved your drawings and your jokes and the way your brain worked. I should’ve known things would go this way, you were never fully comfortable around me, were you? Was i too much? I wonder what I was to you all that time. When you said you loved me, did you just say it because you knew I wanted to hear it? I’m sorry if that was the case, I’m sorry I tried to hard to force something that just didn’t work. I think I was just something you came to when you were bored or lonely. And I let you do that, because I thought it made me special to you in some way. I understand why you feel the way you did about me. I didn’t respect myself at all, so it makes sense you didn’t, either. I think you had good intentions with some things, but I remember you telling me how you find it easy to lie and manipulate people to get things you wanted. When I think about a lot of things you said, it made me realize I had a very different image of you than what you actually were. You didn’t like the kind of person I am, I think you just tolerated me because I stuck around. I’m still thinking about you daily, stalking you online like a freak, I’m sorry about those messages on instagram, luckily you probably won’t see them since you don’t go on there much. I won’t bother you anymore, I won’t look at your page on burners, and I hope I can move on like you have. I really hated when you said this, but you were right, Lenny- It was never gonna work out between us if we met. People like you and me just don’t get along. I still see you in so many things. Time will heal me, but this really, really hurts. I hope we can both find joy in our separate lives. I’m sorry.
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