Unsent text message to Nicholas

when we gonna have this chat? and I don’t mean about werk.

thank you for the email... i am so happy we can still be connected if i move away :) thank you, i know you loves me.

please read my response and take it seriously. i don't think i can take another conversation of you talking about your "closed door" decision. i don't want to hear it anymore. i get it.

and i want to…

I don't know how you expect me to feel the same about someone I haven't seen in years!!

I gave you chances. If you genuinely wanted to talk or resolve anything, you had every opportunity to do so. I am not chasing a man, carrying everything alone or waiting around for someone who couldn't make his intentions clear.

You…

I got drunk, said goofy things. I had my birthday and as promised, I took a break from everything including you permanently. I feel so happy, I feel so free and light. I hope you never use my number; be clever, be wary, be good. ☯️♾️

I said come correct and it's obvious ur not ready for that. I leave with love and hope it may work out someday. But I can't put my health and safety at risk. I cant afford to care about u the same if we ever want it to work. It's obvious that ur not ready or willing to change. I'm not gonna wait on you to do my own…

I’m sorry I left the way I did.

The anger inside me felt like a burning fire. It was overwhelming, and it scared me. I was afraid I might **** ****** in that state. I needed distance, and I wish I’d found a gentler way to leave.

I know I said things you feel you didn’t deserve. I don’t even know anymore. I’m still…