Unsent text message to Alyssa

I read something today and it made me think of you. Honestly the way I could relate to it, almost made me cry.

Forget a breakup… Have you ever met someone you had an insane connection with, only for the universe to be like, “Oops… sorry, you two actually weren’t supposed to happen” And somehow, you’re left missing…

Well you have worked with ma for only a few days now. At first as i wasn't too sure about you.. i mean you have a nice *** for sure. I just jeep asking myself if thats enough.... But you know what they say. After see one woman *****, u want to see them all. Ao lets ets keep talking and see what happens.

I realised something huge about everything that had happened yesterday. It was like my destroyed heart was screaming for my brain to hear its last words and it took until near midnight to hear it...

I love you, I have fallen in love with you and I didn't want or think it was possible for this to happen again but it…

Yo why the hell am I going to therapy over your crazy controlling ***, this is nuts. Even without talking you’re driving me insane, and you know that. You know you’re hurting me, you say these things and do these things to intentionally hurt me. You won’t even say sorry, but what do I expect? You never took…

i will never choose you because you told me so , but something in my still wishes to look out for you.

i wish you never pushed me away.

its fine though but im just sad that i will never be able to share my achievements with you or be with you ever.

i really wish it was with you.

funny how none of them will EVER reach you and even if it did you’ll NEVER know its me. i wish i could see you and be with you for a while even if it means that nothing will happen between us.