Unsent text message to Jacob

I have borderline personality disorder. I don’t know if you truly know the stresses that come with this disorder. But am I enough for you? Am I TRULY enough for you? Because at first it seemed like all you wanted was me. You were so sweet and kind and loving and cuddly and our nights spent together had so much spark…

I cut my hair.. it was so exciting for me to go to work and surprise everybody. I got many compliments.

Every time I passed by a mirror thought of you slowly crept into the front of my mind.

How would you react ? Would you like it ? Would you have thought I looked pretty ? You would have. And you would have smiled.

I miss…

I still put the toilet seat down for you. Every time. I do it ever time. U said no one had ever sone it without you saying.

Your voice is a constant echo in my brain I feel every word The pressure The fear I hear the screams Wounds I tried so hard to heal are ripped open and bleeding as I try to stitch them back up How could I let these wounds be inflicted on another I didn’t make the cuts but I supplied the weapon Recklessly leaving it to…

You’re perpetually selfish... It’s exhausting trying to prove to you that other people’s feelings and livelihood matter too; honestly, you’re just not worth the effort anymore.

You told me that you only wanted me. I actually believed it. I think you only wanted me until someone better came along. I told you, I'm a cutesy guy. I don't need to prove that I'm tough. I like looking good and being cute. It's just what i do.