Unsent text message to Mason

I cut my hair.. it was so exciting for me to go to work and surprise everybody. I got many compliments.

Every time I passed by a mirror thought of you slowly crept into the front of my mind.

How would you react ? Would you like it ? Would you have thought I looked pretty ? You would have. And you would have smiled.

I miss…

I still put the toilet seat down for you. Every time. I do it ever time. U said no one had ever sone it without you saying.

Your voice is a constant echo in my brain I feel every word The pressure The fear I hear the screams Wounds I tried so hard to heal are ripped open and bleeding as I try to stitch them back up How could I let these wounds be inflicted on another I didn’t make the cuts but I supplied the weapon Recklessly leaving it to…

You’re perpetually selfish... It’s exhausting trying to prove to you that other people’s feelings and livelihood matter too; honestly, you’re just not worth the effort anymore.

You told me that you only wanted me. I actually believed it. I think you only wanted me until someone better came along. I told you, I'm a cutesy guy. I don't need to prove that I'm tough. I like looking good and being cute. It's just what i do.

So, I feel like the lust is a little lack-luster. I am insecure, immature, drinking most days, and a little negative. Simply put: Chubby, broke, and IRL low key dismissive yet clingy. True Leo. Look to be asleep, easily stirred, yet written down to be the cowardly lion from the wizard of oz- female version. Promise…