Unsent text message to Gavin

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't stay and let you punish me by isolating and ghosting me for weeks on end. If I'd known...yeah I probably still would have come back. And somehow....Ren Faire was still worth it.

I'm sure you don't care. You probably moved on. I unblocked you...again. Not because I think you'd see this...no…

And dont let old habbits ruin it. Go chase it. It's the greatest thrill of our lives. Dont waste time. Let them know how you feel and if they reject you... it's okay to move on. It's okay to find someone else. Because there are likely many other people willing to love you. So go find your love. Love is the greatest…

I talked to my friend today. she's having problems with her boyfriend

I don't want to air out her problems but I was just so angry for her but so sad too.

it'd be easy for me to just tell her to cut him off and to do whatever. and it was, but at the same time it wasn't.

I told her what she "should" do but I was so…

Made my jaw ache. Told me I need to do better and said you won’t return the favor. You are a bum.

i despise you because of all the things you did to me and you gave me nothing good in return like nothing, i hope you never get to feel happy again.

I suppose the worst must come with the best. Opposites settle in the middle ground, coiling around one another, settling into bed. Worst year of my life, simultaneously the best. I lost a great deal... But I found you. It was all meaningful....Worthwhile, it mattered, in the end.