iMessage
Hey J, I meant the thank yous
My last message to you where I listed every way you hurt me started by thanking you for each one wasn’t meant to make you feel bad. I meant every thank you.
I left our roller coaster with appreciation for the good and the bad. I chose myself instead of waiting for you to choose me.
However, I do hope you choose someone.
I hope you learn from our year and heal your avoidant ways and that emotional constipation is released.
I hope you find someone you genuinely share all the wonderful things about yourself with instead of choosing fear and control to avoid vulnerability.
I hope she makes you feel calm and safe. I hope you make her feel calm and safe too.
I hope you both protect each other’s hearts.
I hope you have great adventures.
I hope you fall madly in love.
I hope she supports your hopes and dreams and you support hers.
I hope for you to be unbelievably happy and accept that you deserve good things.
I hope you meet the woman that makes you believe in romance and you show her that softness and care.
I hope that you learn to communicate, choose honesty.
I hope that the lingerer leaves your life for good and she doesn’t continue to ruin your future blessings. Your relationship with the woman you’re supposed to be with.
I hope you’re both loyal and honest even when it is uncomfortable.
I hope you both grow with each other and your life is full of everything you have ever wanted.
I truly from the bottom of my heart that you let yourself believe you deserve to be loved and that your love is worth having.
I hope you don’t panic and make that shocked pikachu face when she tells you how much she cares, or when you realize that you do. Do tell her though, it’s okay to.
I hope you open up and share your feelings, your worries, your boundaries, and needs. I hope you make space to ask and listen for hers as well.
I hope for all the best for you. I always have.
Just because I am not going to be around to witness it doesn’t mean I don’t want that for you.
Let yourself have it all. Do better because you are better than all of the ****** things that have happened.
You’re not your mistakes, but they don’t have to be your future either.
Thank you for everything, I am sorry for my parts in all of this & goodbye.
…I truly did adore you.
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