Unsent text message to Jared

know or understand why you think of me everyday. You poisoned everything we shared and tossed me like rubbish with your lies, betrayals, and disrespect. Forget about me. I don't wish to linger in your thoughts. You didn't deserve me when you had me fully and completely, and you don't deserve me in memory.

Why couldn’t you be decent enough to just call it quits? Why did you drag me along and then abandon me like everyone else I’ve ever told you about, it’s so unnecessarily cruel. An actual humiliation ritual atp. And normally I’d let sleeping dogs lay, but ****?? What the **** did I ever do to you for you to be so…

So what is this, guess we are slipping back into the way we were a month ago, which is fine, but I’d love to know why you started being friendly with me, I think there was more to this then what your saying with your words, makes me believe you’d wish some of the walls between us were pulled down, I want to pull all…

You tore everything apart that day and I never got an apology. I never got any ounce of respect. I never got a glimpse to feel like everything is okay. Instead i’m worrying about you, apologizing on your behalf to everyone, telling everyone you aren’t doing okay… You know… I’m not doing okay and you won’t ever care…

I don't want them to define me.. which is why I'm trying really hard to change myself but, it seems that I can't even let the people from my past go. Like you, S. I can't let you go for some reason. I don't even know why, whether it's love or just the fact that someone, at least someone knows me and what I've done. I…

I’ll hold space for you, for us a little longer. I’m not sure why or how but I’m doing it. You’re written in my soul, it’s your blood that I bleed. Wherever you are, wherever I’ll be I’ll save you a seat , right next to me. I still smile when I think about our time at Luis’s place. Do you? What about day one at the…