Unsent text message to Ava

I remember when we first met and you talked about yourself as if you were chronically single (just like I talk about myself today). You said: "I've been single for 7 years, and I'm completely fine with it." Yeah, I know you're strong and don't need anyone, but I wanted so badly for you to make space for me in your…

I think this whole thing is dumb.

I think if you really didn’t want to lose me again, you’d act like it.

I think you must be out of your skull to think that I would stick around while you decide if you’re ready to make life changes.

Love demands change. Requires it…

They tell me every pleasure comes with pain,

Every little sunshine brings a little rain.

If I chase the rush, I'm playing with the flame,

If I love the feeling, somebody says it's shame…

There's no way to tell you this, but the pain still hits me sometimes out of nowhere. You appeared in my dreams fairly recently, but your eyes were reproachful.

It feels like the beginning of a book. There is so much to say, and once again, I have to be clever with my words, at the risk of binding myself to that trap…

It would have been a lot easier to move on had the relationship been toxic. But it wasn't. It was everything we had been looking for. You made me feel seen and safe, made me feel loved. You told me the same. I deserved better than the excuses you gave. We promised each other no matter what. You were saying things were…

I think we could do it. We don't need to fix everything, we can just relax and enjoy each other and not be so afraid. We can talk it through, all we need is communication, everything else is amazing. You don't need to be perfect, I'm not perfect, but we were perfect as a team.

I want to make popcorn with our popcorn…