iMessage
It would have been a lot easier to move on had the relationship been toxic. But it wasn't. It was everything we had been looking for. You made me feel seen and safe, made me feel loved. You told me the same. I deserved better than the excuses you gave. We promised each other no matter what. You were saying things were fine hours before. You said it was because you realized you weren't ready. And that I deserved more than the bare minimum. I spent years healing my attachments, making friends with my demons, trusting my intuition and the psychological whiplash you gave me put me in my place. You didn't even want to remain friends. You didn't even want to take accountability. You didn't even have the balls to actually break up with me. Like I was supposed to end it for you so it made it seem like you weren't the bad guy. And now this no contact withdrawal is hurting my soul. I'm still looking for you. I'm still waiting. I'm still picturing you in my plans. I'm still reminded. Because you felt real. You felt impossible. You felt safe. You felt amazing. And even if you decided to enter back into my life. I would forgive you. Because you actually were MY person. Maybe one day. Until then I can only love myself back to where I was whole without you. However long that takes....
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