Unsent text message to Maya

In a month it will be two years since I first met you. I have spent more time missing you than knowing you. Things ended so soon. I have walked around with so much heartache since then . There are days I feel like this is a thing of the past and then my emotions take a dip again. I know they say you romanticize things…

I could act as though I love you, but I know I never will.

So whatever this is, is better left as whatever it isn't 🖤

And then she said she couldn't trust me. And wasnt going to explain herself. Guess she wasn't that into me.

Last night I finally cried about our relationship again. Not the angry, frustrated, scared cry but the sad cry.

I don’t feel mad anymore, finally. I can’t believe it’s been 225 days already. It still feels like yesterday when I left, when I said bye to our kitties, bye to our home. I miss our home. I miss baking…

Would you want me to come to you? Even though originally you said you didn’t.

You left me, not the other way around. Just tell me what you want. Figure it out. If you want be be friends, let’s be friends. If you want to get back together, then STOP being scared, and tell me what you want. We can start over, just forgive each other. It won’t be the same, but is that such a bad thing? We needed…