iMessage
I ruined it.
Hook Line and sinker once again
I pushed us both too far
You pushed me too far too
I now have panic attacks when I think of you.
And I've keep hurting the person I love
Become a colder version of myself
I think I can handle it but it always gets too much
When does it ever stop.
When do I get easier days
Should I go back to plans to off myself again
When can I just be myself and not be so afraid?
I'm too afraid to be loved.
I'm too afraid to be known.
I'm too afriad to be hurt by another man
To be used, exploited, drained
I'm too afraid to hurt someone else
In the same ways I have or been betrayed
Why do I have to ruin everything in my life
Why can't I just be grateful and accept good enough
Why do I still take everything too personally and project
Why can I never get all this trauma out of my head
I was good until you came along
And I was ok, before I called you back up
But now, I am not.
Now I fear what I've always felt,
I'm broken beyond repair
Shattered, into a million tiny little pieces
And they will not glue back together again
In any kind of coherent or lovable way.
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