Unsent text message to Courtney

I was about to write a letter then decided a text would be more fitting. Short and brief, I can see clearly the space that is held for me among the others now. I have laid my heart bare and made few requests. I have held a much larger space for you without realizing it has never been your intention to fill.

Trust is…

I love you . I still want you to someday day text me ask me how I am doing , care about me .. I really want . I know that will never happen . I am okay with that honestly.. it's just the reality

**** uuu

I hate you

U are the worst…

i texted when i was stressed and i needed u and you made it worse by ignoring me i tried to get us back together but you left and you decided that our relationship wasnt worth the effort anymore, you didn’t even want to open my texts…after all the moments we had together i really loved you and i will never forget the…

I saw something today that reminded me of you.

And I don't know why.

On the day that we saw this together, I know something happened. Something my brain filed away as significant between us, hence this feeling of you embedded into this moment.

But whatever that significance was, I can not recall. It feels like I'm…

My world revolves around you. My planets orbit you like Saturn’s rings. They orbit you like the sun.

You are all around my life. I walk into Walmart and I remember your scent even though I don’t know what you smell like.

I play the games we used to play together. I play them with others and it doesn’t bring half the joy…

I thought I'd forgotten and forgiven you long ago. But I just can't forget you. Your voice, your hair, your eyes. The way I confessed my love to you, and you said I was just an acquaintance to you. How you deleted all our chats and blocked me everywhere. And I still can't forget you. I think I still love you, but at…