Unsent text message to Noah

for being my constancy and support

for giving us a chance to work things out if/when we don't see eye to eye

for forgiving the ways i fall short

for giving me the time of day…

Same old ******** where I have to beat around the bush instead of just getting to communicate directly.

We both feel the same way about this whole situation. We both want the same thing from each other. But I can't just tell you the truth because you confided in her privately and now she's telling me to never ever tell…

Hey Babe, My moon.

This is working, IT‘S ACTUALLY WORKING!

I can’t stop smiling, thank you thank you thank you. I’m so proud of you and me 💙

Breathes a massive sigh of relief…

I just wanted to let you know after about a year of feeling entirely undesirable and all around ugly - our conversation last night just changed everything. I know it shouldn’t have happened - it definitely shouldn’t have happened but the tension had built up for a while and it just couldn’t build any longer. It was so…

I have some really good memories of me cuddling with you on the couch, you kissing me before leaving for work, your little smiles, “wow”, your falling sleep sitting up.

How could we have let that go?

I am coming to the acceptance again that maybe you didn’t want it like I did or maybe you couldn’t stay. Maybe I was too…

Dear Thomas,

Today, I’ve finally decided to let go of you. I’ve finally decided to stop caring. It’s been four and a half years of wasted energy, pain and sadness, all of which were entirely of my own making. None of it was your fault. You never asked for any of this, and you were never responsible for what I chose to…