Unsent text message to Ethan

**** me in the middle of the night

On the darkest moon each month

no words

(note the ties if I put them out for you)…

I will never watch you sleep again. I can remember the times I did, you looked so calm and peaceful. The kind of peace I wish for you in life.

Even though I have hundreds pictures of you, I wish I photographed you more. I wish you could pose for me once more, some cheerful banter and a cheeky smile for the photograph…

**** me in the darkest night

silently, secretly

use the ties if I put them out for you

after, act like we said nothing…

I wish I could kiss you one last time. I hate how we ended up:(

Remember when you told me that the moon always makes you think of me? Does it still?

Last night I had dreamt about you. It felt so surreal. I haven’t dreamt about you in so long. It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other. I woke up almost texting you. It felt like you werent in my life anymore yet I had just dreamt of you as if you were. I woke up with this weird feeling in my body. Like a missing…