Unsent text message to Brian

Last night I had dreamt about you. It felt so surreal. I haven’t dreamt about you in so long. It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other. I woke up almost texting you. It felt like you werent in my life anymore yet I had just dreamt of you as if you were. I woke up with this weird feeling in my body. Like a missing…

i get to talk to you tomorrow?! tomorrow!?! i love it when i **** up dates and get nice surprises like this

eeek. i'm so happy.

With love.

Turns out I can have everything I wanted

Literally everything is falling into place,

Except now, I don't really want it.

I guess knowing I'm still at least two years away from the ability to relax into it. To enjoy it makes it harder to consider it. Will it even be worth my time then? Will all my time be lost…

Idk, texts to an avoidant?

I hate how things ended. I wish I had checked on you more. I was selfish to only talk about me. I felt the emotional shift, but I didn't want to accept it.

Giving you this space hurts so ******* much. You hurt me so ******* bad, but even through all of it, all I can think of is your wellbeing. I just want you to be…

Still waiting for my birthday present