iMessage
I know it's too late and there's no going back but I'd do anything to change that night. To listen to you. To not react. To not push things so far. To let you say your piece the next day without being so upset and reacting.
It's the biggest regret of my life. I would give anything for another chance. I'm hurting every day. I love you so much.
I know it was so wrong, we both have different ways of processing things and I'm too clingy while you need space to process things. I'm working on that, ironically while trying not to contact you.
We both wanted the same thing. We were both saying the same thing. We wanted to be loved, to be heard, to be cared about. I was only concerned with my own feelings. I was hurt and I didn't give you what you needed. The support. The understanding. Just to listen and not judge. To not say that it's all on you this time.
It's never been one side vs the other. It was always about us. I've always loved you and the way you interpreted what I've said or done was very difficult for me because it's not what I meant or how I feel. It was unconditional. It wasn't trying to judge or say you're bad or anything like that.
I wanted us to be better and to communicate better so that we would have less of these problems. There was no one side to blame and it wasn't my intention.
The things I said were terrible and I didn't mean them. I was hurt and lashing out because you were hurt and processing in your own way, which I took as trying to hurt me. I regret it all. Every day for months now.
I wish we could go back. I wish we could heal this. I know it's just a dream really because you've made your decision and I respect that, as much as it hurts. I miss you so much. You're my best friend. We've been through so much.
I don't need to send this. I don't need her to read it. I've already said everything. It's not one thing that finished the relationship. It's not my fault the relationship ended. She has my number. She could try if she wanted.
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