Unsent text message to Gavin

You had it all, beauty, a man who's desperately in love with you, a family, freedom, a wonderful place to live.

And what do I have? The complete opposite.

I love you.

Psychologically rattled

You knew what you were doing. You knew how you were manipulating me. How this was all just a means to an end for you.

You listened to me cry. You let me lay my guard down with you. You let me strip myself down to the bone to you. You let me tell you about my mother, and my father, and the horrid pain I have endured.

And…

Your beauty is beyond compare With flaming locks of auburn hair With ivory skin and eyes of ocean blue

He loved you.

My mother just abuses me.

My brother asks me if were talking again yet

I do not know what to tell him

How do i look at him and say ive tried

Ive begged you and bothered you…

I ******* hate myself for ever loving you. I wish I could go back to the night we met and go the opposite way. It’s been a year and I still carry the grief and pain. It’s like a war flashback that infiltrates my brain anytime I feel remotely happy. The pain you caused lingers and prevents me from feeling genuinely…