Unsent text message to Nathan

Hey i know i haven't been too nice here lately. It feels like I'm overflowing with hate right now. I just feel angry every waking moment. I see your doing fine. ******* that elf looking little dude. I mean seriously is he even 5 foot tall. He is like a tatted up little garden gnome. He tries to talk to me everyday…

I replied and I get a what? Yes I said what I said. You used horrendous, manipulative tactic to keep me hooked then had the audacity to say you love me and then you act like this.

About us in months. I came this way to try and move past but the reminders are still there. There are little pieces of you in things I do. Idk if I should drop them because they are reminding me of you. But the thing is they are in my few healthy habits. So maybe that’s what loving someone does they become ingrained…

I could bennifit your life. I could be a good co parent. I could support all your plans and help with stuff. I dont even want anything in return. Just a relationship with my children and the opportunity to be a dad again. We're my failings truly so great that you hold on to this hatred of me? You're obviously doing…

I miss you desperately.

There are so many things I wish I could share with you right now, and you would bring up so many things I had already told you or experienced, and I would feel so seen and protected inside our love.

The way you used to lean in close to the camera with a disappointed look on your face when my…

I had someone tell me I fell off, ooh I needed that.