iMessage
I don't know if you ever actually wanted me or if you just liked that I was there. I constantly question if you saw me as someone you loved or just a pet. You consistently criticized my every insecurity rarely apologized and blamed my mental health when I came to you to try and work on things. You would sneak behind my back and do things anything that bothered me was ignored or meaningless. Any concerns I had with anything were dismissed almost habitually. You'd ask me what was bothering me only to act offended or hurt by me wanting to set a boundary. You blamed me for your infidelity and you blamed me for being uncaring when you know I cared more about you then my own well being. I honestly feel like I never meant anything to you and that I was never seen as anything more than a placeholder to you. Your family never respected me and you never once stood by me or stood up for me. I was only ever allowed to be your boyfriend your husband I was never able to just be me. You would step in and critique any decision I made and then you'd treat me like I was stupid for deferring to you. You'd go on and on about the mental load of everything you had to manage but when I'd step up to make decisions after you told me it was fine you'd complain about the choices I'd make. I honestly feel like I never was someone you were making room for in your life I had to be small or I'd be removed. And I was right I started being myself and within a month you removed me because I no longer was fitting the bill of what you allowed me to be.
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