Unsent text message to Faith

one day I love you, the next I hate you.

I wrote this in my notes. Idk if I’ll ever send them to him but I definitely need to share them with someone. Please be kind.

I need to be honest, I need more and I want more. Mutual desire for commitment, consistency, growth and communication. Ive been trying to understand and find the balance between our wants, needs…

It's been so long and I just wish I could apologize. I've done the inner work - you were right, we both had to, it wasn't our time then. Here I am now, a new me. And with everything I've learned about the things that go on in our brains, and the things that afflict you which may have caused and steered the things you…

Yeah I left you.

I hurt you (emotionally, by leaving you).

I hate you(not really, you loved me too much).

I don't have time for thisssss(I have so much to worry about and I can't give you the love you want/deserve)…

It's relatable right now because today I realised that I am starting to have feelings for you and I know you don't feel the same because you said feel a vibe with someone else. I wish I was laying in your bed being held by you or holding you right now like lasj night . I miss you.

We are not the same. I'm not like you. The fact that's been beating itself into my head since say one is finally taking over. I don't know if I'm just allowing it too, or if it just won. I don't have hate. I dont have resentment. These are not demons im able to harbor as I walk in the spirit. You did do irreparable…