Unsent text message to Aiden

I wish you knew how much this has affected me.

Not trying to pinpoint blame because their is no one to blame but myself.

I blame myself because I should have known better.

I knew where this would lead, I knew id eventually end up hurt. I knew it was too good to be true…

Godspeed, drive safely when you get on the road. Stay dry, or out of the wind.-shrug Just reaching out because I needed you to know I only ended up at that Walmart because the one closest to my house sucks. Stupid and annoying story about a minor inconvenience that led me to shop near where I work. not going to bore…

Hey Babe,

Even in this weird ****** up silent situation.

You heard the pain my manifesto message and altered your behaviour to reassure me.

Don’t for one minute think I didn’t notice the change. I did, I noticed…

I don't want to cause you any more discomfort. I miss you terribly and have spent the past nine months getting my **** together, with you in mind but also independent of any hopes I have. When you waved at me I thought maybe there was an opening to approach, then when I did you froze and said you weren't doing well…

Why is it so hard to tell someone you love them and they mean the world to you?

Today I came to terms with the fact you didn’t love me like you say you did. I think you just loved being loved and that’s why you abandoned me when things got hard. I think you knowing how bad it was and letting this unfold this way while I didn’t know what was going on is truly the most evil thing you will ever do I…