iMessage
I don't want to cause you any more discomfort. I miss you terribly and have spent the past nine months getting my **** together, with you in mind but also independent of any hopes I have. When you waved at me I thought maybe there was an opening to approach, then when I did you froze and said you weren't doing well and didn't want to talk about it. My fear prevented me from telling you how I really felt back then, and the uncertainty it created was destroying your nervous system. I can only hope that my actions up until that last night conveyed what my words never did, what I couldn't admit to myself until you were gone. So I'm asking, what do you want me to do? If you want me to stay away forever, say the word and I'll let this go. If I can't give you the safety you've desired all your life, I'd want you to find it. But if you still love me, if there's still a chance, we can start slow. In any event, I want you to know that you were loved by me and still are. If there was a way to sent you this text, I would.
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