Unsent text message to Ella

I don’t feel the need to look or really post anymore. It either is or it isn’t. I feel my passion almost drained by distance. Does this mean I’m reaching acceptance about how things really were?

Well heres your chance to get the f*ck out that house....I got this motel room all to myself and plenty to get done.

It's like this, the cold heart of someone freezing the lake underneath me, when I was in that dark, I managed to get off of that lake, make hard steps forward. But one simple word from you through another of "hi". Felt like it pulled me right back to that frozen heart with a layer of ice between us. Sending that…

but then made it impossible to reach you 💔

I treated you horribly in May. My behavior was abusive and disgusting, and it was even worse that I didn’t take it seriously in the days that followed. Then I became even worse in September by continuing to contact you when I clearly shouldn’t have and when you had asked me to stop. Again, abusive, disgusting, selfish…

Meet me at the swings