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I think if I had one wish it would be that I could stop loving you.
Not because you’re a horrible person. Because you’re not. Not because I hate you either, because I don’t. Far from it.
But this ******* hole in my chest. What the ****. I thought it was gone. I’ve been okay for weeks, nearly months now. So why, why did it take one night. One night and a dream I don’t even remember to bring this ache back.
I don’t even want you back. I recognize all the ways we were wrong for each other. I recognize all the things I did wrong. The things you did wrong. The things that made it so it really wouldn’t have worked out perfectly in the long run.
So why the **** does it still hurt when I think of you. Why do you keep crossing my mind all of a sudden. I was fine, I could think of you in passing without a worry. Telling myself I wish you nothing but the best and I barely miss you anymore.
**** man. It’s not even you I miss. At least I don’t think so. I can’t describe this knot in my chest that won’t go away. Because I do still love you. But I also want nothing to do with you. How does that even make any sense?
Sometimes I tell myself I wish I’d never met you. But that’s far from the truth. I wouldn’t be where I am, or who I am for that matter, without my time with you.
But **** man. Get out of my head. Please.
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