Unsent text message to Liam

You slipped once and said I love you, and you had to save it fast and followed it with, I meant as a person. I was obviously apologizing for how autistic I am and that I’m sorry if I’m too much. You said, ur perfect, I love u. I bet you died lol 😂. “I meant as a person.” I said I knew what you meant. But what if I…

I am sorry

I crossed boundaries

I should have let it go , way before

I am sorry to keep bothering you, texting you…

All I need is you to hold me, tell me its going to be okay. Why are we so far?

I know I made a mistake pushing you away.

I'm so close to calling you. Would you hate me if I did that

But it seems like you don't want that. Idk what anyone wants. Idk what I want. I want love. I want to be desired by people I wish to desire me. Idek. Sometimes I think I blew all my chances at love already. The only people that want to love me I dont want. I just want you tbh. And I want you to want me. If I wrote you…

All lies.

I told myself a million lies.

OMFG.

You didn’t lie…

I saw your new profile today. For a moment it made me happy you achieved a goal, then I remembered how obsessed you were with holding power like that. Your reasoning, your logic and your obsession with zero compassion for human. I admire passion, but sir you became drunk with the idea of power.

And in a second, reality…