iMessage
I have so many questions that I know I’ll probably never get answers to.
Did you ever actually love me? Or was all of it just an act to you?
How did you change so drastically? How did someone who once made me feel so wanted become someone I can’t even reach anymore? And why do I still miss you when I’m so angry at you?
I keep telling myself that you don’t deserve to be missed by me after everything, but somehow I still do.
I’m going through hell right now, and somehow missing you makes everything feel even heavier. Being sick doesn’t help either. There are moments when I just wish I could talk to you, even though I know I probably shouldn’t.
Maybe you’ve already moved on. Maybe I’m just a distant memory to you now.
But I still want to know one thing.
Was I at least someone you genuinely liked? Did what we had actually mean something to you? Or did you just play with my feelings without realizing how deeply I would end up caring?
I don’t know which answer would hurt more.
I just wish I knew whether I was ever real to you.
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